My vocation to the Pauline life was a big discovery because, in India, I had never seen or heard anyone speak about the Daughters of St. Paul. Today, many years later, as I look back over the road I traveled, I thank God for the “abundant riches of grace and mercy” that I received. The seed of faith and the desire to become a missionary had been a driving force within me ever since childhood. Because of this, I wasn’t afraid to make sacrifices, which were never lacking. I wrote to the Daughters of St. Paul in Mumbai, saying that I wanted to get to know them and they invited me to “come and see.”
I still remember the day I left home–my whole family accompanied me to the train station. Two impressions of that day are engraved within me: the absolute silence of my father and his tears. My departure reminded me of the departure of Abram because I didn’t know where I was going and what lay before me…. I didn’t know any of the people I would be meeting when I reached my destination, nor did I know the language. But an extraordinary interior voice told me: “Go ahead! If you want to be a missionary, you must not be afraid.” It was 10 June 1970 and my first train trip. It took three days and three nights to reach Mumbai, like Jonah in the belly of the whale. The sisters were waiting for me when I arrived.
The beginning of my Pauline life was marked by great simplicity, joy and fervor. Immediately after my profession, I was placed in charge of the typography and afterward I was asked to serve as postulant mistress.
“Go forth: the Pauline mission has no borders”
A second call of the Lord was to become a nurse, which involved leaving my people, my land and the specific apostolate of the Daughters of St. Paul for my new assignment at Queen of Apostles Hospital, Albano, Italy. This “call within a call” turned all my expectations upside down. I was speechless. I felt like little David before the giant Goliath: small, poor, inadequate, confused. I asked myself: “Why should I carry out a mission that is not characteristic of the Daughters of St. Paul?” But a gentle voice in my heart answered: “Don’t be afraid. I am with you. The Pauline mission has no borders.”
Thus, in 1987 I left my country, my people and the apostolate I deeply loved. I understood that the Spirit was opening a new path for me because it is he who inspires everything and asks for the unconditional and complete dedication of those who commit themselves to following him. It was truly an experience of walking in his footsteps, dedicating myself to my sisters and brothers with patience and love.
To serve as a nurse and as a ward sister in the onco-hematology department of Queen of Apostles Hospital was a great challenge and called for many sacrifices. It made me experience my limitations and impossibilities in helping people heal. But my contact with suffering was also very fruitful: I became more patient and came to understand the value of living alongside those who are suffering. Illness changes the lives of people. St. Paul says: “When I am weak, then I am strong.” I had the chance to accompany many people during the last stage of their lives and I learned much from both the sick and my work colleagues.
Like a Stream
“It is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me”: these words of St. Paul cast light on my path. Today, forty years after my first profession, it seems to me that I am still just starting out on the road leading to my goal. Often, when I am meditating before the Tabernacle, I picture a stream, and myself immersed in its waters. The stream leaves its mountain source and crosses remote and diverse terrain so as to reach the sea. I feel like I am a stream before the Master, who says: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will refresh you.” My yearning is to surrender myself totally to him and allow him to lead me to my all-important goal.
Sr. Rose Melkulangara, fsp